Recommended: Free self confidence course - sign up now!

MORE ARTICLES

Self Esteem 

Our Self Esteem

How to cope with criticism to avoid low self esteem

By Carla Valencia

If you do not handle criticism well, you may end up having low self esteem. We all know the difference between criticism and feedback:

• Criticism is based on personal interpretation according to personal experience and personal history.
• Feedback is based on observation without interpretation.

Why do people criticize instead of giving feedback? According to my experience I have noticed that people criticize because they feel inadequate, they want to feel superior to other people. People with low self esteem usually put others down through criticism so they can feel better about themselves.

Sometimes I think that criticism is a habit too. If you grew up in a family with a lot of criticism, the members of the family are not aware of the damage they are causing. They criticize others because they were criticized themselves, and they pass this habit to the next generation. That is because I believe that is important to be aware.

I have learned that the best way to handle criticism is not to get hooked. Sometimes for me the first reaction is to answer back. However, this is the best way to start a fight. The best ways to respond is not responding. What do I do then? I change the subject, I do not say anything, I use humor, or depending on the situation and the person whom I am dealing with, I may assert myself. Always I ask myself: is this worth it?

The more conscious you become that the criticism you receive comes from people who are in pain and have no other way to express it, it will be more easier for you to handle it. By being aware you will be capable of stopping this habits and handle criticism in a different way. There are two points involved with criticism.

1. The first one is to know that if you are receiving criticism instead of feedback, you are dealing with someone with low self esteem.
2. The second point is to ask yourself some questions: Is it worth it to answer back? Am I going to change the other person by getting hooked? Why do I get hooked? , what do I fear?

Always remember that you can learn something from criticism and take it to your own advantage. Remember also to think about your own behavior. Are you criticizing others because of your low self esteem?

“Do what you feel in your heart to be right – for you’ll be criticized anyway. You’ll be damned if you do, and damned if you don’t”. Eleanor Roosevelt.

For more free information about self esteem please visit: http://www.selfesteemawarness.com

Carla's professional background includes 15 years working as a Software Developer and Technical Writer .Her passion about self esteem issues had leaded her to write about her personal experiences. She studied Metaphysic, Buddhism and she has been using several techniques since the last 10 years to work inside herself. She lives in Canada and is the author and owner of http://www.selfesteemawareness.com , http://eftfree.blogspot.com and http://www.laautoestima.com.

Read my review of the FREE self confidence course  to learn more now

next article ®