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This article
will, I hope, enable you to take control of your life and help you improve
your self confidence and esteem.
Who’s Directing Your Life?
By Marcia Wieder
America’s Dream Coach®
While aspects of you encourage, “Go for your
dreams,” simultaneously other parts threaten, “Don’t you dare.” A cast
of characters lives inside of you and at different times you may receive
conflicting or contradictory messages. If you are want to be happy,
successful, and fulfilled, consider putting your “dreamer” in the
director’s chair.
What are the voices inside of you saying? As you
turn the volume up on the voice of your dreamer and down on the voice of your
doubter, you can practice discernment allowing for greater clarity. To assist
you in hearing these voices, let’s set up a simple scenario. Picture
something you want, something that matters to you. Choose a personal or
professional dream and consider how these various parts of you might respond.
Dreamer – The dreamer inside
says, “What if…” and is open to a creative process without
over-analyzing it. This is the part of you that imagines, believes in
possibilities, has hope, and seeks kindred spirits. Dreamers talk about their
ideas with intention, clarity, and passion. Great dreamers get others excited
about their vision. And most importantly, successful dreamers take action to
make their dreams a reality.
Doubter – This voice is often
heard saying such things as, “I don’t think this is a good idea.” The
doubter provides concern touting, “But what if…” and imagines the worst.
If you crank the volume up it can even become annihilating with accusations
shouting things like, “Are you out of your mind?” William Shakespeare
said, “Our doubts are traitors.” Carlos Castaneda said, “In order to
experience the magic of life, you must banish the doubt.” My favorite quote
on this subject is in The Prophet where Kahlil Gibran wrote, “Doubt
is a feeling too lonely to know that Faith is its twin brother.”
Realist – “Be realistic…”
Modulate the doubter down a notch or two and it becomes the essential voice of
the realist. This part wants to know, “What’s the plan?” including where
is the time and money coming from. However, in the early phase of dreaming,
you may not know. The challenge is not to allow the realist to immediately
turn into a doubter who might judge or obliterate your idea. Honor this voice
by (to the best of your ability) giving it the information it needs. If you
ignore or reject it, it will cleverly agitate or distract you. Being realistic
offers prudence and makes you do your homework but if you are overly realistic
or go to strategy too soon, you will most likely compromise the dream and kill
your passion.
Visionary – This voice says,
“Anything is possible so let’s dream big!” These are the leaders and
people we look up to and admire. They have learned the process of realizing
their dreams and embody what it means to be a big dreamer. Setbacks or
failures do not stop them. Simply put, a visionary has a vision and invites
others to join them. They are found in all walks of life and we are often so
inspired when they are in the presence of a true visionary that we sign up
just to be near them or part of what they’re doing.
A visionary is not defined by the size of the
dream since dreams are precious and come in all sizes, shapes and areas of
life. If you were living your dream life, how would it be different? What do
you see yourself doing? How many lives would you touch? What would you change?
Who would you help if you were truly living as a visionary?
Avoid Sabotaging Your Dream
When these different voices merge they can become muddled and result in confusion and poor decisions. For example, you might poison your dream by projecting doubt into it. Then with each step you take toward what you want, you also move toward your doubt. Doubt and fear, which most of us may have at some time or another (especially when embarking on a new or big dream) do not belong in your dream. These feelings are simply part of your reality. This is a subtle and essential point.
Here’s a simple technique for avoiding this
sabotaging pattern. On a piece of paper draw a line across the middle. On the
top half write out your dream with as much detail as possible. On the bottom
write out your reality in relationship to your dream, where you are now.
Reality usually includes good news and (so called) bad, as well as any fear or
doubt you may have. Just state the facts and your feelings about them.
Now, which one are you more committed to; your
dream or your reality? We tend to choose “reality” when we don’t have a
clearly defined dream or when we saturate our dream with doubt. If your dream
is loaded with your worst imagined nightmares, reality will always seem safer
and saner. But doubt placed appropriately as part of your reality, allows two
things to happen. First, no longer blown out of proportion, it’s an obstacle
that basically requires a strategy to manage it. But more importantly, with
doubt where it rightfully belongs, you are free to move forward.
It’s like a play. All the characters have wisdom
and insight, but you can’t clearly understand them when they’re speaking
at once. Take time to tune in, to listen, and on a regular basis, have the
courage to give your dreamer its directorial debut or even the leading role.
Marcia Wieder, America’s Dream Coach, is a best-selling author and speaker known for giving inspiring and moving talks to AT&T, The Gap and American Express. She appeared several times on Oprah and The Today Show. She’s also writes for The San Francisco Chronicle. For more information, to receive a free audio e-book, "Jump Start Your Dream", or to join her community of Dreamers, visit http://www.dreamcoach.com/. Come Experience a Powerful Weekend Designed to Help You Exceed Your Expectations & Achieve Your Dreams, visit http://www.dreamcoach.com/dream_weekend.htm to register for the event Take action and start planning your success! Download this recommended self hypnosis program now:  (CD) The Success Factor CD contains 4 specially selected hypnosis sessions.
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