| Home » Articles » Improving your self esteem |
         
Recommended:
Try this Free self confidence course - sign up
now! you won't regret it!
MORE ARTICLES
First in the series of articles by Dr. Barbara Holstein : Also: |
Yet another
article selected because I hope it will help you to build your self esteem
and confidence, the purpose of this website.
PRACTICAL STEPS TO ENCHANTMENT:
Often in our society, we are bombarded with the
lives of celebrities. We can end up feeling that if we are not part of the
rich and famous, our lives are insignificant. Our society also sends a
message of competition and achievement. We watch sports, we always hear
about profit and the bottom line being the dollar, we see large companies
competing and constantly buying each other out.
The result often is that we are taught to see
how well we are doing, in terms of how pretty we are, how bright we are,
what kind of house we have, how well we do in sports, what rewards we
receive. However, in reality, these are external measures. Each of us needs
to develop a sense of self-worth, a capacity for positive self-regard that
comes from within.
Here is an example: Sara was divorced and felt
in many ways that she had shortchanged her two daughters, in the sense that
they lived on very little money. She could shower few luxuries on them. At
times, in her therapy, she talked to me about feeling that she was not much
good at anything. Her husband had been abusive both physically and mentally,
and had put her down almost constantly. Although she no longer lived with
him, inside of herself she still carried feelings of worthlessness.
One day I asked her to review some of the best
moments in her childhood. She said, “I always loved when Uncle Sam used to
come over, and we all sang songs.” I asked her if she did anything like
that now, with her girls. She said that they often sang together in the car.
In fact, she had taught them many of the songs that Uncle Sam had taught
her. I asked her if she realized that she was offering her girls some of the
wonderful family memories that were unique to her as a child. She said she
hadn't thought about it, but it was certainly true. During months of
therapy, we worked again and again in recognizing many valuable aspects of
herself. Needless to say, her self-esteem began to improve. Sara is an
example for all of us, in the sense that each person has to document his or
her own positive talents and strengths.
We have to learn to pat ourselves on the back.
To help you, I suggest a self-pride list. During the coming week, write down
at least one item a day that you can take pride in having handled well. For
example, I was polite and kind to several people in the supermarket checkout
line, even though I was tired. Or, I used my head, rather than my fist, and
really shared with my son my concerns over his getting another traffic
ticket.
At the end of the week, read over your
self-pride list, giving yourself a mental hug, or the high five sign. This
is the beginning of giving yourself more recognition, which will in time
lead to an improved sense of self worth. It is only with this improved sense
of self-esteem that you can have the confidence to make sure that your life
is filled with enchantment.
Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein , originator of THE ENCHANTED SELF®, a
method of bringing delight and meaning into everyday living, invites you
to view her new line of ENCHANTED WOMAN products, downloadable e-books,
and free gifts at http://www.enchantedself.com.
Chat with others in Dr. Holstein's e-group,
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/encself/join,
and sign up for her free e-group at
www.enchantedself.com. Order
her book, THE ENCHANTED SELF: A Positive Therapy, or the CD-rom or
tape version and her book RECIPES FOR ENCHANTMENT:
The Secret Ingredient is YOU!, or the ED-rom version, at http://www.enchantedself.com/ordering.htm
If you want to improve how you feel about yourself then check this out! Self hypnosis really works, click the link and take action now!  (CD) The Feel Good About Yourself CD contains 3 specially selected hypnosis sessions.
|