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Welcome to the December issue of the self esteem newsletter! Happy
Holidays!
Just putting up the tree and the decorations and organizing the
newsletter for this month. There are now almost 7,000 people receiving
this! I'm getting so much positive feedback about both this newsletter
and the website and I'd welcome your comments too.
This issue includes a new article which is the third in the series on
stress because I think it is especially important at this time of year
and we could all do with a little help.
Hope you enjoy this newsletter and please come and visit my website
again soon.
Best wishes this holiday season!
Karl Perera www.more-selfesteem.com
Click here to
comment.
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What's in this issue
- what's new
- quote of the month
- article - parenting stress, how to deal with it
- Holiday Gift ideas form Amazon.com
- recommended books, downloads
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Book of the Month
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You just woke up, and your two year old is screaming because
they missed part of Sesame Street, your baby is crying
because he's hungry, and your husband seems completely
baffled by what to do. You rip through the house, quickly
popping a tape in the VCR for your two year old, make a
bottle for the baby, and snap at your husband for just
standing there. How can he be so confused when you are on
top of everything? However, inside, you feel burdened with
the "super mom" ideal. This isn't what you bargained for.
You don't enjoy this the way everyone seemed to say you
would. You feel like you do everything and that you can't
relate to your children, that even your husband is standing
idly by while you slowly go insane. You are no Super Mom,
you feel like a Super Failure. You are suffering from
normal parenting stress.
Often when women have babies, they think that they are going
to be experiencing the best time of their lives. However, a
certain amount of women do end up feeling like they got way
more than they bargained for. Women everywhere are afraid
to admit that they feel stressed an inadequate as mothers,
but the fact remains that it happens. Every parent feels
stress, but for some women, it's just too much.
If you are feeling particularly depressed and stressed out,
and you recently had a baby, call your doctor or midwife
right away. You may be suffering from Post Partum
Depression, which is a common reaction to hormones and
normal stresses of having a baby. Women who are prone to
depression are particularly prone to have Post Partum
Depression, but it can happen to anyone. If you feel
overwhelmed or like you can't handle being a new mom, please
do not be afraid to call someone and talk to them. You can
get help, and you can feel better, enough to care not only
for your children but for yourself. Options for post partum
depressed mothers include:
* Antidepressants are available for post partum depression.
Even if you are breastfeeding, there are plenty of
antidepressants which can be used to make yourself feel
better. Particular medications do not even pass into the
breast milk, but make sure that you tell your doctor that
you are breastfeeding so they can pick the appropriate
medication for you!
* Therapy. Therapy is a good, healthy way to help ease your
stress and depression as a parent. A therapist can help you
with coping skills, positive self-talk and other techniques
to help you feel better. Additionally, it's nice to have
someone to talk to that's there just for you!
* Support Groups. There are support groups specifically for
new mothers who have post partum depression. Talk to your
doctor or midwife, call your local hospital, and research on
the internet. You can talk to other mothers who feel the
same way, and help you realize that you aren't alone!
* As strange as it sounds, sleeping when your baby sleeps is
fantastic advice! Trying to stay awake to get things done
when your baby is sleeping is a grand gesture, but taking
care of yourself is even better. Take that nap, and enjoy
the time you have to sleep! The dishes will get done
eventually. Don't pressure yourself too much!
Taking post partum depression seriously is very important.
If you think you are suffering from this, do not assume that
you can "tough it out." For your children's sake and for
your own, seek help as soon as you can!
Perhaps you didn't just have a baby, but the kids are
driving you crazy anyway. You don't know how you are going
to endure all 18 years of them living at home! Here are
some techniques to try to make your family life a little bit
more peaceful, or at least, make yourself feel better:
* Take time for yourself. This is very important. As
mothers, we often think that our whole lives completely
surround our family, and behave as martyrs, basically,
without taking time for our needs. This is not something
that should be happening! Yes, your family is important,
but so are you! Spoil yourself, even if it's just a little.
Take time to read a favorite book, take a warm bubble bath,
enjoy a treat, garden, exercise, or go out for a cup of
coffee! It doesn't have to be much, but as long as you are
doing something for yourself, you will feel better. Even if
it's taking a class at the local community college about a
subject that interests you! You can take anything from
creative writing to dancing, or even piano lessons!
* Try not to use negative labels for your kids. If you try
to take a positive spin on your child's attitudes and
personality instead of concentrating on the negative side of
it, your kids will catch on and act more positive, as well.
If you usually call your child "stubborn" you could perhaps
call them "persistent" instead. Make sure that other adults
also hear your new attitude towards your kids, and they will
catch on as well!
* Don't feel guilty about letting your kids watch a movie
while you clean the kitchen or curl up in a chair reading a
book.
* Make up creative projects that you and your kids can do
together! A creative project that everyone has fun doing
and can be proud of is a great way to take up part of the
day with less stress, especially when your kids get bored
having nothing much to do.
* See if there is a mother's group in your area. Parenting
groups often have play dates where kids of the same age can
play together, and you would have a chance to talk to other
moms who are going through the same things that you are.
It's a wonderful way to pick up ideas and share
frustrations. Who knows better about what you are going
through than other parents with children the same age?
* Check your local college for parent/toddler classes.
Often there are classes available where you can bring your
toddler to play with other toddlers, and learn some aspects
and parenting tips that you may not have thought of before!
This can be fun for you and your toddler, and a good
learning experience as well.
* Don't be afraid to ask for help. Dad should help as well.
If you are a stay at home mom, you know that it's a 24-hour
a day, 7-day a week job. Ask your husband to watch the kids
while you take a nice bath or go to the store.
* Want the kids to help you with chores? Instead of yelling
at them to get them to do what you want, try making chores
into a game. For instance, if you want your child to pick
up a pile of books on the floor, pick some up and challenge
your child to assist you. If your kids think cleaning is
fun, they will probably be more likely to want to help you,
which will help ease your stress!
* Therapy is still a good idea. Not only does it help to
take time to talk to someone once a week or once a month,
you can also learn coping techniques for yourself and for
working with your kids. There is also a type of therapy
where you can bring your kids with you and work together
towards a goal. Call or talk to your insurance company
and/or therapist to learn what would be the best technique
for you!
* Obtain a hobby, with or without the kids. Learn something
new! Enriching your own life with education and enjoyment
is a wonderful technique for reducing stress. You can still
live a full life as a parent, and whether you choose to have
a hobby only for yourself or one that includes the whole
family, you won't regret taking the time to learn something
new!
These are all techniques to help you get in control as a
mother and as a person. Often mothers forget their
individuality as a person when becoming a parent, and end up
feeling resentful because they can only define themselves as
mothers. Taking the time to identify with your inner self
is incredibly important, and even more so as a parent. Even
though you are working at the most important job in the
world, and even though it's a job that never ends, taking
care of yourself is always important! Stress is a normal
part of life, as well, but if you feel overwhelmed and as if
you can't stand to be a parent any longer, call a
professional and be sure to get some help! Everyone needs
help sometimes, so don't be afraid to ask! If you are just
feeling stress about parenting and want to help ease it,
then try some of the advice given in this article, and you
will notice an improvement over a short period of time!
__________________________________________________________
Louise Hathway provides effective solutions to reduce stress
in your life. Learn the 5 essential keys to [stress
reduction]. To receive your free 5-part mini-course visit
http://www.stress-reduction-4u.com/free-report.html
Want to increase your self confidence? Then check this recommended course
out now:
-
sign
up for a FREE
self confidence course which thousands (including me personally) have found
extremely useful. I would
also advise you consider getting the CD Trainer which is promoted
throughout the course, the CD is not expensive and is wonderful, I listen to
it regularly, it helps me, it'll help you too.
See
you next month! Oh, do check out the list of articles on
my website
Karl
Perera
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